FULL...Full to the Tip Top

that's my head with thoughts....blah...
I haven't written in so long and I feel like I am going crazy because I need to write and air my thoughts for the 5 people that read this, yea I know you love me, so I don't go crazy....

On a side note, I have been sucked into the Twilight saga...but I have to say that there is no way I would be taking my 9-10 year old daughter to see it (and no I am not referring to Cameron, she's only 8). I am referring to a friend of mine on FB who I guess thinks it's okay...whatever, to each his own I just think that's a bit much. And better yet she can't wait to take her daughter...I just don't think it's appropriate but what do I know?

On to bigger and better things, I have picked up reading a few good books lately, I am sure it won't last long because quite honestly I hate reading but for now I am going to embrace it and take in as much info as I can.

I am reading "Emotional Survival For Law Enforcement, A guide for officers and their families" and wow....it's scary good if that makes any sense. Good because it is packed full of information and insight and scary because there is a LOT of truth to it and I can see things that make me nervous....sigh....

On another note, while I am full of opinions tonight, here's another one:
YOU ARE NOT BORN GAY, IT'S A CHOICE
JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE
Oh this was a lovely topic at dinner the other night with my in-laws, Lord only knows how we got on this topic but we did and we were talking about this gay guy that I know and I made mention of the fact that he never had a father or true father figure in his life and that it had a huge impact on him. To which my MIL said that had nothing to do with it because he was born that way. I literally laughed out loud quickly disagreed to which her response was that she has done lots of research and you are born that way. Well you can pretty much find research based answers behind anything, true or not.There's someone to argue every point. She wasn't happy when Steve disagreed with her and then his dad on top of it, so needless to say that conversation ended quite abruptly. I just couldn't sit back and be quiet on that matter...ahhhhhh life....Like I told her what I am saying doesn't mean I like a gay person any less by any means all I am saying is that is a choice. Agree or disagree that's up to you...

Thanksgiving is around the corner and this year it's going to be quite different from last year's or any previous years and I think it will be an adjustment. Just to look at how much our what once was a close family has changed so much in a such a little amount of time. Some of the things that have brought it to this point make me sick and absolutely angry, while other things I don't mind changing....ugh...why is life so complicated sometimes? In the words of a good friend of mine "just do what comes natural" what isn't natural also easy haha??? someone please tell me.

Here's another question for you: Why are some people so FREAKING HARD to get along with???? I mean seriously, I don't go out trying to make enemies or being a bitch but there are just some people that no matter how hard you try they make it impossible to have a good relationship with. Sometimes I feel like I am back in HS...didn't I graduate for a reason? Other than to go to college....why yes, yes I did.

Oh and last time I checked, there isn't a cookie man handing out cookies to you for every damn thing you do...do you really need praise for every task you accomplish on a daily basis? Okay I just stepped off my soap box, but don't worry I didn't step far from it haha...

Now jumping tracks to a totally different subject...my great grandfather passed away the night before last and he was 98 years old, 98 wow! That's someone who has seen a WHOLE lot! I am sad that he is gone but happy for him, he lived a great life, still lived in his original home when he died, was surrounded by some of the 13 caring children, set an amazing example for what a good person is made of and was of a sound mind to the end. How many 98 year olds do you know that can say that?? I am also happy that both girls were able to meet him even though Haiden won't remember. We have a few photos with 5 generations, how awesome is that. I realize that I was very fortunate to even be able to know my great grandparents, of which I knew three of the four so I consider it a special opportunity.

Here are the five generations all together:

My great granddaddy, my grandpa, my mom, me and our girls....pretty cool!

I am all over the place tonight, but I warned ya....
Communication
ahhh what comes to your mind when you think about this?
I am referring to relationships specifically....on top of the many other things needed for a successful relationship, communication is one of the top five in my book and I think it needs to be a daily practice for both parties. I mean really how are you really going to survive if you can't communicate. just a thought.

Sometimes I really hate the quietness of this house. I love the quiet nap time, but hate the quiet night time, when Steve is working and I am here alone. I don't like being alone and cannot wait for the day that he can kiss night shifts goodbye! I think I might even throw a party. That's a good idea actually. There are some evenings where after the girls are in bed I enjoy a little bit of me time or vegging on the couch but I wouldn't mind doing that with Steve on the other end of the couch...every night. I know they say distance makes the heart grow fonder but I think it's grown fond enough lol.

I think this job, and I am not blaming everything on the job because there are soooooo many aspects, but I think this job is starting to take its toll all the way around. It's complicated. It's frustrating. It can be rewarding. It has made us change. Change the way we do things. Change the way we see things. Change the way we think about things. Change period. Some good, but some not so much. These books I have been reading are so full of helpful and good information and it makes me wish that I could implement something for the officers in every single police department. This current book makes sense of a lot of things in the police lifestyle and it makes me really sad that as I read this I realize, not ONCE has the PD (and I am not only blaming Warrenton, because I am sure there are thousands of others just like it) ever offered or taught or encouraged anything to do with EMOTIONAL survival of the job. It solely focuses on physical, however emotional is JUST as important as physical. I have always said, you have to deal with what you see on the job or else it WILL come back to haunt you years down the road, at the least expected moment...so why if people know this, why don't they have something in place in every single dept that encourages people to deal with their emotions and encourages them talking to someone instead of it being made to look as a weakness. (again I am not referring to Warrenton, but PDs in general) If anything you should be commended for being strong enough to say yeah I can't deal with what I have seen or experienced on my own, I need help. Doesn't that take a strong person? To face their problems head on because you know that if you do it will make you a better, stronger person and save you sooo many problems down the road. This is so frustrating to me because SO many things could be prevented if an officer were taught about the emotional struggles early on and given techniques and guidance for dealing with the many challenges one will face. They should be teaching this in the academy because there is no officer immune to it and not knowing how to deal with it or how to recognize it will only make matters worse. Every officer is still a human and under that badge is the same feelings you and I would feel when faced with something good, bad or horrific.

I wrote a paper back in college, after my uncle who was a police officer for 22 years died in a car crash. He had been spiraling out of control and I swear there is a good chance he would be here today if there had been something in place to help him emotionally and psychologically. Needless to say it was about how police officers should be required to undergo periodic psychological evaluations due to the stress and nature of their jobs. I feel so strongly on this subject matter because I watched what my uncle went through and knew how sickened he was by much of what he had to deal with and see on the job. I am sure there are some other professions, ie military, that has very similar issues but of course this one is closest to my heart because of my uncle and now my husband who is a police officer...

This is what my brain looks like...cluttered...

I am starting something new this week, something that can only have a positive outcome, something that can only create positive changes, but I am a little apprehensive and happy all at the same time

What's so important about a title anyways?

"Although it's difficult today to see beyond your sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow."

This quote is pretty powerful to me. I found it awhile back and dropped it in a blank blog post and that was that. Saved the draft and haven't touched it since way long ago...

These words speak to me today, they can apply to so many different situations in life, whether it be death, the way things used to be or simply a bad day...

At this moment I feel beyond disappointed...I was so so ecstatic about going to the beach for a week to just get away from the cluster**** that has been our life for the last few months, for a number of reasons of which I won't even bother to go into for fear of writing a 500 page book....ahhh but it was going to be a fun and relaxing trip. We haven't been to the beach in years for one reason or another and no I am not losing hope but at the current moment, as of right now we are no longer going. UGH way to put a huge damper on my weekend and what was a state of geeky childish excitement because I couldn't wait for the 16th to get here. I feel for my hubby because he does work his butt OFF and is not appreciated for his efforts. I can't wait until the day he finds a place that will truly respect him and appreciate him for what he has to offer. I know that day  is coming, just not sure when. If plans fall through as they are looking to right now, we will make the best of it as we always do, that's why we were made for each other because when one of us is "Negative Nelly" the other is the one pushing to be positive and look at the good no matter the current situation. Well Negative Nelly is definitely me right now, I am pouting and would really love to get on the floor and throw a temper tantrum, wouldn't you love to see that?, however I do realize though that it won't change anything so I will put my big girl pants on and get over it...eventually.

Just pretend this is me :) and you get the idea

On many levels, things in our life are currently in limbo right now, waiting for things to play out, watching to see what happens next, awaiting new possibilities, hoping for other things and the list goes on. I can see this volcano off in the distance and it is growing daily, going to erupt before too long and this is what it will look like, you will likely be able to see it from space. At this point all I can really do is pray and believe for the best possible outcome in some areas and be thankful in others.

I must say I wouldn't want another other partner for this journey that we are on together. It feels great to sit back and look at what we have created, where we have been and where we are now and be able to really appreciate it like we do. For that alone, I can say I appreciate all the challenges that have stood in our way and that we have overcome. 

Random Thoughts for the day:

• Why again have I put off blogging for like a month now? I really do love it even though I can't always say everything I want to, it's like my own personal diary, a place to put all my thoughts, and share them with the ones I care about most. It is like "my time" where I can just focus on me for a short amount of time and it's a stress reliever to me. So please next time there is a time gap like this, come knock on my door and just kick me and say blog and walk away ok? Because I need it :)
• I really need to strive to continue learning in the photography world. There is so much that I don't know and want to know. I wouldn't mind being a sponge in that area so I could just soak it all up.
• Steve and I are seriously talking about TN or right at the VA line, possibly Bristol or Abingdon...we both really want out of the metro area for a number of reasons and sometimes I freak out thinking what I am doing considering leaving all that I have ever known and other times I think why the heck not?? So who knows what the next year will hold for us....who knows.....
• When I think about the quote above I remind myself that it is okay to look back on and remember great people and memories and it's okay to cry because you miss them. After all it's not good to ignore our emotions.
• No matter how stinky a day, that little most-of-the-time sweet face of my ladybug can always make me smile.
• I need to have a yard sale really bad and I can only blame my laziness for not having done it yet.
• I should really be getting stuff done around the house but it's more fun just sitting here making a To Do List instead haha
• And the list goes on but I've got to cut is short because I can hear Hurrican Haiden upstairs and she has awoken from her nap and is probably relocating everything in her room to where it doesn't belong.

Frustrated...

As with anything in life, you go through things and want to run away from life for a period of time. Well yep I am right there. Not with my immediate household (THANK GOD FOR THAT) but with other things going on in my personal life. UGH!

Ha Steve and I have joked but not about moving to Tennessee, not to run from our problems, but to have a change of pace. There are some days I really think we need that but at the same time....are we strong enough, courageous enough to really do it? Time will tell I guess.

(disclaimer...no I am not bashing my family, I am just being honest...so if you don't like it....well there isn't anything I can do about it)

Something that has always kept us here is our families. We love them and want to be able to live close enough to see them whenever we want. But as I am sure many can relate, things happen and families grow apart...this is really hard for me because I really never thought this would happen to my family. I selfishly always thought my family was a little bit better, a little bit closer, a little bit stronger, a little bit more true and real and low and behold it isn't. It's like EVERY OTHER family out there. It's is no different, it's not as unique as I thought it was...haha well it is but not for good reasons. Of course I never realized this growing up until now I can sit and look back and say wow....

So what I am getting as is yes while family will still always be there, happy or not, screwing eachother over or not, secrets or not....I am in this life with Steve. Now don't get all pissy, I do care and love many others, but I am runnning this race, going through the adventures of life, with the one person I chose to spend the rest of my life with so why shouldn't we just take off and try something different, afterall we have eachother and our two lovely babies and in some sort of way that is all that matters.

Of course we would miss tons of people and like I said will it ever happen I really don't know but just like I had to do back before I got married, start living for myself and doing what is best for my/our family. I can tell you one thing, life got a lot easier when I started doing that.

There will always be storms that come, obstacles to overcome and mountains to climb, I am sure they would just be wherever we settle down but as long as I am climbing them with the Steve, I think I will be alright. It's funny how if you sit back for just a second and think wow five years ago would you ever think you would be in this spot? Trying to look in the future you would never see it coming!

============ Jumping tracks (haha you like that don't you?) ===================

What happens when a person becomes purely evil and there is no foreseeable (sp?) good left in them? What then? It's pretty scary if you think about it because you have no idea what they are capable of or how much damage they can cause. However, there has got to be an end to the madness somewhere, a big crash, a volcano eruption, a dead end. What makes me sad is you can only sit back and watch it happen and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it other than pray that they only hurt themselves and no one else in the process. Scary that someone can actually completely lose their heart and their conscience and all the good or at least the little of good qualities that were there. Ugh quite frankly I hate it! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it!

Haha and then you are left standing there, looking at the rubble...going WTF just happened? I don't mean to laugh but I love him and his expression....have a good day :) until next time...

SLACKER right here!

Yeah I have been totally behind on this, but hey I honestly have been busy. I keep thinking I really need to get on here and then I always run out of time.

So much has been going on the last few weeks, starting with the Strawberry Festival a few weekends ago which was a ton of fun! It was our first time and we really enjoyed it! The girls of course loved it too and it was a beautiful state park. I have never been and I cannot wait to go back! I will post pics later.

On another big note, I decided to take a leap, I seem to be doing a lot of that in the last 6 months and I must say I am kind of liking it, and start selling my nature photos. It is a true passion of mine and I am loving every minute of it. (Nature that is, not so much people) I think even more so than that is people actually like my work and want to purchase it, that is so exciting to me! I got my first photo order and mats in last Friday and it has taken off much faster than I ever thought. I placed my second photo order last night and I am going to the farmer's market in Orange on Saturday with a friend and I can't wait! I can honestly say this is something I love doing, I have always loved photography and almost pursued it in college but took another avenue and of course now I look back and wish I had followed my heart. I still have MUCH to learn but when it is something you want to do you enjoy it so much more. I am thankful for my supportive husband who is confident not only in me but with decisions I make and stands behind me. So we will see what happens right now it is just something small on the side but hey if it were to grow into something larger eventually I wouldn't mind a bit.

We are headed to good ole WV next weekend to Snowshoe, to relaxation, to fresh, crisp air, to beautiful sunrises and peaceful sunsets. I am excited to get away for a short while and Steve of course is ecstatic. He loves it up there, even more than I do. I love it don't get me wrong, but the only thing I am worried about this year is getting my beach fix. It has been far too long, 6 years too long, and I am changing that this year. So come the first week in September that will be the ONLY thing I am talkin about. But for now I am looking forward to this little family trip of ours and being able to have beautiful nature all around me. Which reminds me, I still need to find a babysitter for my bunny rabbit...

This is the first summer in oh like 8 years that I have been able to be at home and I am THRILLED! No, actually BEYOND thrilled. I didn't have to worry about finding childcare, packing lunches, rushing out the door each morning, see ya later's, none of that and it feels great! I just sit and think back to six months ago when Steve and I were faced with, do I quit and stay home? or do I continue working? I can't even sit and imagine how different life would be right now if we had decided differently. I am so happy and the only thing I can think is why did I wait so long. Why? Because of fear of the unknown, that's why. I was always so worried that it didn't work and on paper I didn't know how it would but it has. I am a planner at heart so I need to have things laid out and know the outcome or sometimes I freak out. That's just how I am, but with this big change, it has also made me change my way of thinking and I have learned a lot in these last few months. I can't wait to see what the next year will hold for us, it will be an adventure I am sure!

God is Great, but sometimes life ain't good, and when I pray, it doesn't always turn out like I think it should...

But I do it anyways,
I do it anyways...

Anyway by Martina McBride

God's plan and timing is everything and I know that, however I don't always remember that when I have a solution planned out in my head and that's not what God has planned for me. I have to remember to step back and remember that he knows what he is doing and it's for the best for me. I am so thankful to have him by my side, couldn't imagine how empty and scary my life would be without him in it.

This song is great! I heard it on American Idol and honestly I have never liked the song until tonight. I actually listened to the words tonight and it was meant for me to hear. Life isn't always good and sometimes I don't get the answers I think that I should, but I don't always know what's best.

This week has been a challenge for me but I am going to continue to give my problems to him, to focus on the good, to know he has the answers, to realize the beauty in my life and to let go and trust that everything will work out just fine. That's so much easier said than done, after all I am a worry wart.

Haha this picture depicts it pretty much perfectly!

Here is the video if you want to watch it!

Some more quotes I like:


"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies."
-Aristotle



How true is this?
"We discover in others what others hide from us, and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves."
-Vauvenargues, Marquis De

"Do whatever you do intensely." 
-Robert Henri

"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. "

-Dave Meurer

"Liars when they speak the truth are not believed."
-Aristotle



And on a side note, I seriously have some of the BEST people in the world in my life...people that I can call my friends, people that are my family, people that I can go to when I need them most, people that I can confide in, people that I can share memories with, people who I can laugh with, people who I can trust and people who will always be there for me not matter what. Thank you! What would I ever do without you?

You're In For A Rude Awakening...

Sometimes I just stop and think....and I came to a realization this morning. I mean I always knew this in a way but I just said it this morning and it hit me.



"People only let you see what they want you to see, they only let you hear what they want you to hear and they only let you know what they want you to know."



Kind of like that saying, "You think you know me but you have no idea"

It's true. Isn't it? No matter how well I think I know someone, do I really know them? It is amazing the older I get the more I find out, realize and come to know. Does this make any sense? Anyways over the past couple of years this has really became apparent to me. People who I thought I knew really well or had a close relationship with, haha not so much. I mean yes I may have been close to one of the faces but little did I know they had multiple ones.

I know everyone has secrets or things they don't share with others and that's not really what I am talking about. It is just puzzling to me how some people can lead a whole different life, one that the people closest to them somehow have no idea about. It baffles me actually.

And so this saying pops in my head, one my momma always taught me and I think one I have lived by without really even trying and this says it all!

"What's done in darkness always comes to light."

I will finish with some pretty interesting quotes I found today and love:

"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself."
-Og Mandino

"Either you deal with what is the reality, or you can be sure that the reality is going to deal with you."-Alex Haley

Quite interesting to me...

"Reality isn't the way you wish things to be, nor the way they appear to be, but the way they actually are."

-Robert J. Ringer

It's the little things that I appreciate...

~Little curls

She woke up the other morning with the two little curls in her hair that were the cutest.

The little piece of Haiden's hair that has been stark white ever since she was born and now that her hair is growing you can really see it.




~My mornings with Haiden...

I usually hear here wake up and play with her toys and talk to them or make them sing over and over again and I like to sneak in and watch her for a minute before I make the slightest noise and she looks up so quickly and then wants out of her crib immediately. then of course there are the occasional mornings where she wakes up crabby or has decided to stick her fingers in her diaper and make poo artwork which is totally disgusting but i have to laugh because my dad called it her "poo artwork." But thankfully those don't happen very often.


And last night we set up cami's little table and this morning Haiden wanted to sit there for breakfast. So she brought her little stuffed animal and little dog to the table to share her breakfast with it.



 She enjoyed some yummy cheerios and then banana. It's not good enough for her to just take bites, she wants to try to stuff then entire thing in her mouth and then she can't chew.

Of course she played too but she loved sitting at the table and not in her booster seat...

~Big girl potty time

And then she decided this morning that she was going to use the big girl potty. Talk about exciting! We were in the kitchen and she made her typical grunt and then grabbed her diaper. I knew she was trying to poop. Haiden do you need to go poop? Do you want to go on the big girl potty? Nahhhh! Which today no has meant yes so I said Come on let's go on the big girl potty so we ran in and stripped down as fast as we could and she sat on the potty. Within in a few minutes she started grunting. I couldn't believe it! I was so excited. I know this does not mean she is potty trained by any means but I am more than excited for any interest that she shows.

Her new thing is she has to have something to read while she is on the pot. Doesn't matter what it is but she's gotta read. She cracks me up. I used to do this as a child so its funny to see her doing the exact same thing.

We celebrated when she finished! YAHOO! Haiden was excited too!

~The tree is in full bloom....

~Afternoon walks with the girls...stopping by the playground...admiring new life...

Ahhh it's beautiful.

Haiden collected a rock and a stick on our walk.

~I love nights where my hubby is actually home and I can snuggle up in bed with him...it doesn't happen often enough.

~I am so excited about a new adventure I am starting. 

~God has been SO SO SO faithful since I took a leap in December and chose to stay home with our girls. I cannot begin to spell all the ways but I can tell you without a doubt it surely has not been a coincidentally that everything has fallen into place. It brings me so much peace and joy! I am so excited when I actually sit and think about it. Seriously when I decided to stay home the only thing I could think of was me standing at the edge of a cliff and letting go and free falling, not knowing how I was going to land. (I think of that song "Free Falling" but have no idea who sings it and I only know the main chorus) I was at a place where I had to take a leap of faith and boy am I glad I did.  This is something I have wanted for so long and to actually be living it still amazes me. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real but I love it. 

I remember when I was pregnant with Haiden there were several of my friends that had babies around the same time I did and all of us had to go back to work and we all wanted to be home. I said to myself I am determined, I am going to find a way, I am going to be the first one so they can see it is possible and hopefully it will give them the same opportunity. Believe me, my heart goes out to all the working moms because I have been there, for far too long, and I know what that feels like. I don't ever want to have to experience of leaving my baby for the first day of going back to work after I have been on maternity leave again. I felt like I was losing someone, it was like ripping my heart out or tearing this bond that I just formed in the months prior. I hated it. I told Steve if I knew I was going to have to do that again I surely wasn't having anymore children. I am so thankful that our life has slowed down some, that we aren't ALWAYS on the run like we used to be. 

~I have to admit it is a little scary and frightening sometimes when I think well I really don't know how it will all work out or how is this going to work or how are we going to handle this. I am the type of person who likes to have a plan for everything and be organized. And by taking this leap I have totally had to step out of my comfort zone and it has been everything but planned and organized. In a way it is amazing and I feel free but then there are times where I freak out a bit. I just look back and remember ALL I have been through over the years and look at where I am now. I think about what obstacles I have overcome that have made me so much stronger and have gotten me where I am today and then I know it will all work out. It has to right?

~Haiden, Mack and I have been walking each morning and it's so refreshing. It gives me energy and thankfully I have had motivation to keep it up. I have been eating better as well and so all around I think its helping little by little. I look forward to summer days, soaking up the sun with the girls and enjoying every minute of it. 

~I also see the ZOO in our near future. We haven't gone the last two years and I really want to go this year before it gets too hot. I think both Haiden and Cameron would love it. 

~Hopefully we will be going to the beach this September and I CANNOT wait! I haven't been to the beach in what feels like 5 years and I am so excited! I love the beach, until I get enough of the sand or sea spray of course and I am excited to be able to take Haiden for the first time and show her all the things I did as a kid at the beach like digging up the little sand critters, walking the beach at night and finding all the fiddler crabs, making sand castles, letting my feet get buried in the sand with the waves constantly crash over them,  getting a nice golden glow to my skin and just relaxing. I am counting down the days.

lovely flowers, baths, randoms...

So....I am obsessed with watching this tree bloom outside our house. The buds started and then overnight the flowers bloomed and I want to take pictures at different angles etc to make sure I capture not only the petals but the center and the buds....so there are lots of photos, bare with me.

I love this one because the flower is completely open and you can see the buds and the water droplets...

This one isn't much different but I couldn't get rid of it because I love it!

I like how on this one the bottom petal is almost non-existent...

I love how the filament stands out in this picture, not as much as I would like but...I also love the buds.

This flower is just starting to open up. Love how everything in the background is pink...

This one is open a bit more and love the bunch of buds in the corner.

I love this picture even though the flower is completely blurry.

Buds, buds everywhere...

Not much difference between the next two photos but I like both...

I tried to just focus on this one new bud.

Everything is just so pretty when it's blooming...

They opened up so beautifully!

They are looking up to the sun!

I love spring time!

Now onto bath time...the girls love their baths. Haiden likes to get in and out and Cami likes to play forever and forget to wash her hair. These pictures aren't the best but  I still love them...

My laptop is a bit outdated and I usually use Steve's laptop when he is home but I wasn't that lucky tonight :) If you know me, you know I loathe editing photos. I cannot sit and look at each photo and make lots of changes etc, maybe one day but not now. So I like Steve's laptop because it has this simple editing application and I can make small quick changes that I like, but I couldn't do that so here they are, straight out of the camera...

This makes me laugh, she accidentally blinked when I went to take the picture but I think it's cute.

Every time Haiden gets a bath she has to dip the washcloths in warm water and cover herself up to keep warm.

And then they get cold so we have to dip them back in the water.

Deep in concentration with her washcloth...

Her lips are cute when she is concentrating, trying to get her body wash bottle open.

And then it was time to style her hair :)

I am really really really trying to get back on a roll with painting. I am slacking. I love painting but it comes in phases. I can do it for awhile and then I am just over it, the prep, the mess, the cleaning up, but I really want to get at least the main color in the house finished so I am determined to get back on a roll and finish it up. So this afternoon I taped up all the upstairs so that all I need to do is start painting :) Hopefully I will start tomorrow. I know that once I get this done it will just be another room or something else but at least I will feel accomplished.

I was determined that when I started staying home I was not just going to sit around, I wanted to accomplish all the things I had wanted to get done that I couldn't when I was gone all day, everyday. So far, I have stayed pretty busy and that makes me happy but I feel like as soon as I cross one thing off I add another...oh well I will just do what I can and the rest will just have to wait. After all, the main reason I stayed home is to spend time with my baby and her big sis and that comes first!

When we first bought our house, nothing was painted and we were happy because we were like oh this is great, we will be able to put the colors WE want and don't have to worry about stuff being already done that we didn't like.  Well, haha, I think my opinion has changed a bit, yes I like that we can do stuff ourselves however, when we actually started doing it, oh boy does the $$ add up and fast...I think I wish someone had put crown molding all in our home, had put nice counter tops in, had painted the walls neutral colors and the ceilings bright white, had replaced the vinyl flooring that I hate with pargo floors or something, had finished the basement or had left us some decent blinds at least....I can dream right? Oh well, all in due time I say...I am not really in any huge rush and hey even if I was it surely isn't going to happen tomorrow so we will do what we can, when we can and I am not going to worry about it.

This is the first room we painted, our living room, look how young Cami looks...where does the time go?

I am not sure where the time is going, we are working on three years in this house already and I remember when we were trying to just get into a house that we could call our own...I love what life has given us the last three years and can't wait to see what the next three will hold for us.